10 Down, 90 More to Go

Ironic that I created this blog to keep myself honest and I managed to GAIN back 50 more. So soon I hope to make the name of the website relevant again lol.

Where am I at? I’m in control again which has been refreshing. Trying to figure out a way to re-motivate has been one of the most difficult things in my life. Sure I want to do things, but DO I really want to do them bad enough? Finally I can say YES!

What changed? I needed to be coach-able again. People who I have looked up to as mentors have not been there in the same capacity as I had relied on them in the past. They are there, but there isn’t much they need to teach me. They have taught me what I need to know. It’s stupid simple, I know what I have to do, I just need to go out and do it.

The coaching I needed to be open to was self improvement and mindset training. Ironically during my search, two friends recommended books to me that really resonated to me. One book titled “How to make Shit Happen” spoke my language. I don’t mean the continuous f bombs, but conversationally put me in my place. This book spoke to me like a friend talking to another friend.

If you need direction on life in general, buy this book and it’s $3. Yes $3! Buy the book and do what it says!! Click 779-225-3487 to buy it from Amazon.

At the end of the day, we all have the same 24 hours. It is imperative that we take control of what we do with those 24 hours. Non-negotiable items need to be established or you WILL fail. That’s what happened with me, I stopped being strict and I fell of the wagon. No matter how tired I am, I am up at 4:30 and I do my workout. No excuses. What is YOUR non-negotiable in your day? 

Getting Back on the Horse

Yep, another failure!

Broken record right? Here’s the thing, when I decided to blog it was to try to be honest and open. I don’t have a perfect transformation story. It’s hell and then it has its rays of sunshine until another cloud rolls in.

But when that sun hits, it became worth it. I did all sorts of new things and I have no regrets on the new things both good and bad to discover. And then boom, I hit a 300 on the scale again!

In December I hit my lowest weight of 242 pounds. What happened? I fainted at the airport and suddenly found myself in the 250’s Then I started to play more than I should have. Big weekends of fun with friends or traveling only to say, ok I’ll start back up on Monday.

Monday rolls along, exercises and behaving until Saturday hit. Repeat that cycle and the bad habits begin to take shape. I emotionally hit so many goals I almost went into a “now what” mode and my drive disappeared.

Hitting 300 was a huge blow to my gut and my self esteem knowing so much hard work just became in vain. Worst of all, now I gotta re-lose the weight I already lost just to get back to where I was before resuming my goal of 200.

I’m owning my mistakes and there are no excuses, I got lazy and it bit me in the ass. If my drive was taken away from gaining, imagine the will power to motivate to lose what I gained.

The last 2 months I’ve let myself coast, kept the carbs low, and eat bad on the weekends. Exercise and more exercise for no loss. How do I remotivate?

I wish I had a good answer as it took me months to finally pull my head out of my ass. No matter how much I bitch and moan to myself I finally realized nothing I going to change unless I just do it.

So I’m back, again, in self shame and pride. And it’s a learning experience. Re-learning how to plan, change your environment, and prepare like crazy!!

I’ll add a lot more details tomorrow with some specifics when I’m not falling asleep in bed.

PS: Forgive the spelling I’m half awake and writing on my cell. Lol

Pictured below one of my F45 trainers and me.